“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

In an era defined by fast-paced digital advancements, increasing competition, and economic volatility, the younger generations—Millennials and Gen Z—are facing unprecedented pressures. The societal narrative has shifted, creating a mindset that demands quick success, high income, and visible accomplishments at an early age. While ambition is commendable, the current cultural climate can sometimes foster unrealistic expectations that can be both overwhelming and detrimental.

The High Expectations Culture

Social Media as a Double-Edged Sword

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” – Jon Acuff

The proliferation of social media has amplified the pressure on young individuals. Platforms that were once meant for casual sharing now showcase carefully curated snapshots of success: luxury lifestyles, early entrepreneurial achievements, and career milestones reached at astonishingly young ages. These images create a skewed perception of what is normal or attainable.

A 22-year-old influencer sharing photos from luxury vacations or posting about making six-figure incomes from an online business. To viewers, these posts often come without the context of the hard work, connections, or financial backing behind them, setting unrealistic standards for peers.

The Comparison Trap

Comparing oneself to others has always been part of human nature, but the internet exacerbates this tendency. Youngsters frequently find themselves benchmarking their progress against that of their peers or influencers, leading to feelings of inadequacy when they don’t match up to these highly visible, but often exceptional, examples.

The Personal and Social Consequences

Mental Health Implications

The need to achieve more at a younger age has tangible effects on mental health. Chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout are becoming commonplace among young professionals and students alike. The constant comparison with ‘more successful’ peers can lead to severe discouragement or even deranged behaviour when in fact, particular individuals are not being given the right yardstick to measure their own strive.

Lost Opportunities for Growth

When the focus is solely on tangible achievements, many young individuals miss out on essential experiences that promote personal growth, resilience, and adaptability. Pursuing hobbies, fostering meaningful relationships, and allowing time for introspection are often sacrificed in the relentless pursuit of success.

The Cultural Pressure in Indian Society: Success as a Prerequisite for Marriage

Financial Status Over Compatibility

In many parts of Indian society, the definition of success for young males extends beyond personal satisfaction and career fulfilment; it becomes a prerequisite for eligibility in the marriage market. A man’s professional and financial achievements are often seen as indicators of his worthiness as a husband, overshadowing other important factors like personal compatibility, shared values, and mutual understanding between partners.

This expectation places significant pressure on young males to achieve financial stability at an early age, regardless of their actual career goals or personal aspirations. The focus on securing a lucrative job, owning property, or having significant savings becomes a measure of readiness for marriage, sometimes leading to rushed career decisions and mental health struggles.

“In our society, a man is defined by what he earns, not who he is.” – Me

The Impact on Young Men

The weight of these expectations can result in young men prioritizing financial gain over personal growth, hobbies, or even seeking a partner with whom they genuinely connect. This cultural norm can lead to a cycle where marriage is more of a transaction based on economic status rather than a union based on emotional and intellectual compatibility.

Many young men, driven by the need to meet societal expectations, push themselves into high-stress careers or compromise their passions to align with perceived standards of success. This race to achieve can come at the cost of their mental well-being, resulting in stress, anxiety, and a feeling of inadequacy if they don’t meet these often unrealistic milestones.

Examples of Unrealistic Expectations

The Early Career Millionaire

The glorified narrative of the 20-something millionaire entrepreneur is a prime example. While stories of tech founders and social media stars who achieve massive financial success before 30 are heavily promoted, they represent a small fraction of reality. Most young adults are working entry-level jobs, balancing multiple side hustles, or pursuing higher education—all while dealing with the ever-nagging need to meet financial needs on their own.

The “Hustle Culture”

The concept of hustle culture reinforces the idea that constant work and productivity are paramount, often glorifying the notion that every moment must be spent striving for success. While ambition and dedication can be valuable traits, this culture overlooks the importance of rest, recovery, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Over time, the relentless pursuit of productivity can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion, diminishing overall well-being and even reducing long-term productivity.

Hustle culture also perpetuates the misconception that success only comes from working incessantly, leaving little room for self-care or personal time. The result is a generation that feels guilty for taking breaks and struggling to separate their self-worth from their professional achievements.

Shifting the Narrative

Emphasizing Sustainable Success

To alleviate these pressures, it is important to emphasize that success does not need to happen overnight. Sustainable growth, learning from setbacks, and building a fulfilling career and life over time should be the goal.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” – Lao Tzu

Encouraging Open Conversations

By promoting discussions about the realities of these pressures, we can help normalize taking different paths, recognizing that every journey is unique. Educators, parents, and mentors can play a key role in reassuring younger generations that the race to early success is not a universal standard.

Easy Does It

While ambition and hard work should be encouraged, it is equally crucial to address the unrealistic expectations that modern culture places on younger generations. By reframing success as a long-term journey and valuing balance and well-being, society can foster a healthier environment where young people can thrive at their own pace.